An Exercise in Sentence Construction

This is the YouTube video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3yBx8nqiAw

The same video was also found here https://www.thisamericanlife.org/extras/tattoos

Both links were retrieved by me on September 19, 2022.

The voices include:

Maggie

The Narrator

The Minister

This is the machine generated transcript. Can we add the capital letters and the periods necessary? Can we add the names of the people who are talking?

Each line of text below does not represent a sentence!

Remove the time stamps.

You may be able to do most of this exercise without watching the video.

0:01

welcome to videos for you I find people

0:04

who are having trouble saying something

0:06

and I help them get their message across

0:08

in a video this is Maggie and these are

0:14

that that she wears in front of her

0:15

parents my parents haven't seen me wear

0:18

shorts in probably ten years that's

0:20

because her body is covered in tattoos

0:22

and her parents have no idea Maggie's

0:25

parents are conservative Christians and

0:27

they really hate tattoos my parents

0:30

think people who get tattoos are people

0:32

with motorcycles probably dabble in

0:35

drugs and just are probably kind of

0:37

lowlife this video is for her parents

0:49

Linda and Randy to tell them that she

0:52

has tattoos 17 of them that she's been

0:55

hiding for 12 years we know where to

0:57

begin so we had this idea to call a

0:59

minister maybe he could help this is max

1:02

a pastor of a church in Connecticut

1:04

Linda and Randy Maggie thought if you

1:07

saw a minister be okay with her tattoos

1:09

it might help you be okay with them too

1:11

the first few tattoos that I got were

1:14

really Christian I have a cross I have a

1:17

dove that represents the Holy Spirit

1:19

that's like straight off of a stole like

1:21

you practically could teach Sunday

1:23

School with that - exactly

1:24

Maggie's tattoos all have stories they

1:32

say so much about where she's coming

1:33

from and who she loves my side is a big

1:36

anchor that says mom and dad know that

1:39

tattoo is wishful thinking it's like

1:42

this secret conversation I'm having with

1:44

myself about my frustration for feeling

1:47

really distant from my parents tell me a

1:49

little bit more about faith when you

1:52

were younger oh gosh I remember when I

1:55

was little I remember saying God wants

1:57

me to be happy and my parents said no he

2:00

wants you do Oh

2:01

him he doesn't care if you're happy to

2:04

me God is so much more than that

2:07

there's also grace I think that is is

2:12

something that gets forgotten a lot in

2:14

my family grace in my understanding is

2:20

mostly forgiveness and the ability to

2:23

screw up and in the eyes of God be just

2:28

as good as you were before I guess the

2:30

question is are you asking for their

2:33

forgiveness the only thing I want from

2:36

my parents making this is the ability to

2:39

be honest with them gosh I can't give up

2:41

I don't want to have this really

2:43

intimate relationship with them all you

2:50

can do is invite them to know who you

2:54

are now

2:57

I hope they have the good sense to

3:01

accept a very lovely invitation

3:10

okay so that was the video we made for

3:13

her to show her parents we didn't know

3:15

how they would react so we recorded a

3:17

song for every possibility so we flew

3:28

her out there to show it to her parents

3:29

and she didn't show them the video she

3:31

said she got too freaked out so we flew

3:33

her out again her parents didn't want to

3:36

be in the video so we talked to her

3:37

about it I was so sure that they were

3:39

gonna react when they one way and they

3:41

reacted totally differently the moment

3:44

they saw the tattoos I realized that I

3:47

had been making all these assumptions

3:49

about them Maggie had been totally wrong

3:52

about her parents turns out they have no

3:55

problem with tattoos and beyond that

3:57

they weren't the kinds of Christians she

3:59

thought they were her dad even said he

4:01

doesn't think of himself as conservative

4:03

at all the conversation we had you know

4:06

after we watched the video about who

4:08

they define themselves as this

4:11

Christians what they think religion is

4:15

was one of the best conversations we've

4:17

ever had just is it I think it's very

4:20

easy for a lot of people to assume the

4:21

worst and their parents and see them as

4:23

these curmudgeon II old people but

4:26

they're not you know they've shown me a

4:30

ton of grace and that was something I

4:32

accused them in the video of not having

4:36

any grace which is exactly what they

4:38

have shown me

Below is the first portion of Oscar's homework and my feedback.

HOMEWORK WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 21, 2022

The Narrator: Welcome to Videos for You. I find people who are having trouble saying something, and I help them get their message across, in a video. This is Maggie, and these are the outfits she wears in front of her parents.

Maggie: My parents haven't seen me wear shorts in probably ten years.

The Narrator: That's because her body is covered in tattoos, and her parents have no idea. Maggie's parents are conservative Christians and they really hate tattoos.

Maggie: My parents think people who get tattoos are people with motorcycles probably dabble in drugs and just are probably kind of lowlife.

The Narrator: This video is for her parents, Linda and Randy. To tell them that she has tattoos, 17 of them, that she's been hiding for 12 years. We know where to begin, so we had this idea to call a minister. Maybe he could help. This is Max, a Pastor of a church in Connecticut. Linda and Randy, Maggie thought if you saw a minister be okay with her tattoos, it might help you be okay with them too.

Maggie: The first few tattoos that I got were really Christian. I have a cross. I have a dove that represents the Holy Spirit.

The Minister: That's like straight off of a stole. That’s like, you practically could teach Sunday School with that.

Maggie: Exactly!

The Narrator: Maggie's tattoos all have stories. They say so much about where she's coming from, and who she loves .

Maggie: My side is a big anchor that says mom and dad.

The Minister: Pretty well.**

Maggie: That tattoo is wishful thinking. It's like this secret conversation I'm having with myself about my frustration for feeling really distant from my parents.

The Minister: Tell me a little bit more about faith when you were younger.

Maggie: Oh gosh. I remember when I was little, I remember saying God wants me to be happy and my parents said no he wants you do obey him. He doesn't care if you're happy. To me God is so much more than that. There's also grace. I think that is, is something that gets forgotten a lot in my family. Grace in my understanding is mostly forgiveness, and the ability to screw up, and in the eyes of God be just as good as you were before.

My Feedback

You did a great job. Keeping the sentences in the order in which they occur in the transcript, I will comment on specific sentences. You did a great job with the punctuation and the use of FANBOYS! :)

HOMEWORK WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 21, 2022

The Narrator: I find people who are having trouble saying something, and I help them get their message across in a video.

No comma needed after "across". I understand that you added the comma because of the way the sentence was said.

Maggie: (Perfect)

The Narrator: Maggie's parents are conservative Christians, and they really hate tattoos.

A comma is needed after Christians. These are two independent clauses joined by FANBOY glue ",and".

Maggie: My parents think people who get tattoos are people with motorcycles, probably dabble in drugs, and just are probably kind of lowlife.

Here, commas were inserted between items in a list.

They think 1, 2, and 3. (correct)(inclusion of the Oxford comma)

They think 1, 2 and 3. (correct)

The Narrator: This video is for her parents, Linda and Randy, to tell them that she has tattoos, 17 of them, that she's been hiding for 12 years.

In this case commas are used as we use parentheses. "To tell them that she has tattoos, 17 of them, that she's been hiding for 12 years. " cannot stand alone as a sentence, it is not a "complete thought".

This video is for her parents (Linda and Randy) to tell them that she has tattoos (17 of them) that she's been hiding for 12 years.

This video is for her parents (Linda and Randy) to tell them that she has tattoos (17 of them) that she's been hiding for 12 years.

This video is for her parents, Linda and Randy, to tell them that she has tattoos, 17 of them, that she's been hiding for 12 years.

We didn't know where to begin, so we had this idea to call a minister.

The word "didn't" was missing. Without "didn't" the sentence doesn't make sense. We knew....or we didn't know

This is Max, a pastor of a church in Connecticut.

The "p" in pastor should be lower case. However, "pastor" is capitalized when used as a title. For example, "This is Pastor Logan, a pastor of a church in Connecticut.

Linda and Randy, Maggie thought if you saw a minister be okay with her tattoos, it might help you be okay with them, too.

A comma was needed before "too".

Maggie: The first few tattoos that I got were really christian.

Interesting! As an adjective, this "christian" is definitely lower case. However, as a noun I have definitely seen both lower case and upper case. For example: There is a christian couple that lives next door. There is a muslim couple that lives next door. The Skype dictionary does not agree with me. In fact, many if not most dictionary do not distinguish between the noun and the adjective and always capitalized the word "christian".

The Minister: That’s like, you practically could teach Sunday school with that.

The reason that "school" is not capitalized is because it is not a proper name. Here are examples of proper names:

Frank McCoppin Elementary School

Thomas Jefferson High School

Lad 'n' Lassie Nursery School

The word "school" is capitalized when it is part of the proper name of a school. By the way, "Sunday school" is the name of the classes given at a church often before or after the Sunday church service. Generally, participants and grouped by age, and taught in age groups: children, teenagers, and adults

Maggie: (Perfect)

The Narrator: (Perfect)

Maggie: My side is a big anchor that says Mom and Dad.

If by "mom" and "dad" she is referring the names that she calls her parents when she i addressing them directly, then those two words should be capitalized.

Where is Mother now? (In this case I am clearly asking for the location of someone whose name is "Mother". Many people call their mothers, Mother.)

Where is my mother now? (In this case we do not know what that woman's name is. We only know her role in the life of the speaker.)

The Minister: (Perfect)

Maggie: (Perfect)

The Minister: (Perfect)

Maggie: I remember when I was little. I remember saying, "God wants me to be happy." and my parents said "No he wants you to obey him. "

This had lots of tweaks. We cannot join two independent clauses, legally, with simply a comma. There is something called reported speech and quoted speech.

Here is an example:

quoted speech: They said, "God wants you to obey."

reported speech: They said God wanted me to obey.

Grace, in my understanding, is mostly forgiveness, and the ability to screw up, and in the eyes of God be just as good as you were before.

This was tough. What you have done with this is not incorrect. It is hard to understand. The speaker was doing her best. It would have been easier to understand this way:

Grace, in my understanding, is mostly forgiveness. Grace is the ability to screw up and, in the eyes of God, be just as good as you were before.

In this case, there are two sentences. Each sentence contains commas that are used a parentheses.